With all that has happened I took up the services of a psychologist to work through all that has happened. Now I am a pretty self sufficient and emotially upbeat person and in the course of a normal life would never take this route, but life hasn't been normal so I had some sessions on the couch. It was one of the best and most positive experiences of my life, we acknowledged the past and worked on moving forward. One of the things we discussed was having some kind of memorial to the two pregnancies that we lost, something to mark that they existed and that we lost them. So I thought about that for some time, ideas such as planting a tree didn't work with being in rented accommodation or getting some kind of object for the house seemed very maudlin. In the end I was inspired by a post from a friend of ours who makes micro financing loans to groups and individuals around the world. This allows you to join with up to hundreds of others in financing things such as small business to buy more stock or a farmer to get the right machinery. Real, tangible, life changing support that helps to change peoples lives in a practical way.
So I made two loans, one to help a womens' co-operative buy some material to make goods in South America and one to support a female Ugandan farmer to improve soil quality for their farm, or in plain English I helped pay for poo! Now a couple of months later I got the first loan payed back, with a little bit of interest to save up for another loan amount, and I was able to re-invest in another project in Senegal.. Now I feel like I almost have a living memorial, that is out there helping to make the world just a little bit better almost with a life of its own.
http://www.kiva.org/
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